Anguish

"I am to leave for Rabka today. I went into the chapel and asked the Lord Jesus for a safe journey. But within my soul there was silence and darkness. I felt I was all alone and had no one (to turn to). I asked Jesus, to be with me. Then I felt a tiny ray of light in my soul as a sign that Jesus was with me but, after this grace, the darkness and shadows in my soul increased. Then I said "Your will be done, for everything is possible to You." When I was on the train and gazed through the window at the beautiful countryside and the mountains, the torments of my soul grew even greater. As the sisters welcomed me and began to surround me with their warmth my sufferings redoubled.

I would have liked to hide and rest for a while in solitude, in a word, to be alone. At such moments, no creature is capable of giving me comfort, and even if I wanted to say something about myself, I would have experienced new anguish. Therefore, I have kept silent at such moments and submitted myself, in silence, to the will of God - and that has given me relief. I demand nothing from creatures and communicate with them only in so far as is necessary. I will not take them into my confidence unless this is for the greater glory of God. My communing is with the angels."-St Faustina